Are you Avoiding Messages from the Universe?

0:17 Hello, I'm Kimberly and I'm Laura. Today we're talking about are you avoiding messages from the universe? I think we all are. At one point or another, we've all done this. Well, because the messages from the universe are sometimes hard for us to understand. And I have always explained this to clients this way, because this is the way I understand it. The divine plan for us is complicated and we don't understand our divine plan. The reason we don't understand it is because we can't. We are in a human world and a human life and a human vibration. And that human thinking doesn't allow us to see all the intricacies of a divine plan. So here's it's like the rub of being human because all we know is one step in front of the other, you know, especially on a spiritual path because I guess we have this illusion of control and we think we think that we can control our lives and we think we can control our path. And that doesn't change either. The more even the more you evolve as a spiritual being, I think that's the that's the little trickster

1:33 That always gets us is that that stays that way forever. You're just learning deeper. You're expanding, you know, you're being stretched. And every time you get pushed against the wall, you don't your first intuition isn't Oh, yeah. What am I what do I got to listen to? It's like, hell, no, I don't listen to that. That's uncomfortable. Well, that's it. Put that back because you got to change, right? It's usually about change growth. But I think the difference, the distinction to make to is that you might be comparing yourself to your neighbor, and you might be looking at your neighbor and going, Oh, wow, they they've planned their life out and everything seems so together and, you know, step by step. And one thing leads to the next and look at everything they're doing. But the thing that's different is if you've had a spiritual calling, you actually have been called to be in service of the universe and being in service of the universe means that you have to trust and listen and follow. And there's people around you that have not been called, you know, they May be struggling in different areas of the life that you don't know. But that doesn't mean they've been called to be in service of the universe. We're all in service in some ways because we help our families and, you know, we're in service of the people we love our

2:49 Friends and our communities and things like that. But not everybody is going to feel this push. So there are people that are specifically chosen. You know, you've probably planned it before you came here, but you have a spiritual calling. Once you're called, we can say that not a lot of things are going to make sense to you. But is it going to be good for you? If you listen, yes. I think we're going to explain that today. Yeah. And I think just listening to you start this podcast and talk with us. It's funny because I think I've always felt like I was called. I feel like even since I look back at being a little girl and understanding things the way I did, now that I'm an older person and I've evolved through a lot of things, I look back and things look so much easier to me now when I look back and I go, oh, that's what that was about. Right. That's what that was about. You know, and I can look at so many things in my life. And even the beginning of what you were saying, I went right straight to, oh my gosh, yes, I can, I can talk about a whole bunch of times that this happened to me.

3:56 But even one that I wasn't even thinking about in the moment was the year that I decided to move here. And I mean, I was kicking and screaming and clawing and you, oh boy, I was in your typical mother phase where I was like, I can't leave my kids. I can't move to another province. Like I can't do that. But what happened to me? I had lost arm function in my right arm for three days. Couldn't literally move my arm. It was stuck to my side. I remember even sleeping was hard as heck because that arm, it would not, it was like it was dead. I remember. Yeah, I know you do. And then I had done a juice cleanse. And then when I was done the juice cleanse, I did like, we were eating a lot of salads and stuff. And I had an acute, the doctor at the hospital said I had one of the worst cases of diverticulitis she's ever seen. I've never had that before in my life. And I haven't had it since. And I had my lower back go out.

4:53 All three things, strike one, strike two, strike three, you're out. And then my wife said, I want you to move here so that your life can be easier. Oh boy, we should never promise those things. I know. So I think about all the things that we're talking about today. And then that popped into my head as soon as you started talking because we were, we were talking right before we started about, you know, what would we talk about? Do we have a story to talk about ourselves? And we talked about something completely different. But as soon as you started talking, I thought, Oh my gosh, and here's the irony of that. It took me seven years to this this year, where I finally look back and go, Oh my God, that's how stubborn I am. And that's how stubborn we are, because we know we're here for this work. And you know, we get sidetracked when there's personal emotions and feelings around things. And we, we don't, we don't move as well as we would if we didn't have that attachment.

5:53 Well, we were also like, I was reminded last night I was talking to a client and I was reminded about the process of choosing a shaman in traditional or indigenous communities. And we were talking about how there is this calling and then most shamans face like what we would call now a dark night of the soul and dark nights of the soul are not just an emotional or mental, you know, experience, like it feels like it actually feels like there's outside forces that are affecting you, attacking you or trying to hurt you. And Kim and I are very familiar with dark night of the soul. And we've, we've supported many times. We've supported each other through those times. But when you don't have support, what do we do in our modern society?

6:43 We just slap a label on it and say, Oh, you're mentally ill. There must be something wrong with you. You need to go get medication or something. And we don't really support. I don't feel like we support spirituality properly in, you know, I remember reading about the druids, the druids knew about dark night of the soul. And when you were initiated into that, you know, monastery and you were learning, you were becoming like a druid follower monk, I guess, they knew that every, everyone would face an initiation. So everyone would face this dark night of the soul. And so what they did was they supported them, they knew when it was happening, they would put them in a safe room with no sharp objects. And it usually lasted a few days and the person might actually have like a sickness, they might be throwing up, they might be sweaty, they might be feverish, they might actually feel within their consciousness, like they're fighting off their inner demons. So the druids knew this and they would support people through it. And they would say this is part of the process. But we don't do that.

7:48 We don't support people when they're having these, you know, kind of crisis. And I think then it leads to other problems. And we were talking about how, you know, really spirituality is just knowing yourself. Because once you know yourself on a really deep level, you know when things are outside forces. So think about when you don't know how you feel about something and you don't know who you are, then you can't ever tell the difference when something is happening that is off balance or ungrounded or toxic, like you can't actually make those distinctions anymore, because everything's all muddled together. So spirituality really is knowing who you are and what you're connected to. And you can't know those things without spending time with yourself. And so some people just get messages like from the universe in different ways to tell them to take time, you know, take, take some quiet time, you know, take some time for yourself to go on a journey, you know, go for a walk, like spend time in silence. These are things that we don't do. People don't do these things anymore. What do they do? I have to or outside can't function.

9:01 But every time there's a quiet moment, what do people do? Fill it with something. Right. They pick up their phone or they have something to do. They're running around doing stuff all the time all day long and they don't have any time, any quiet time for contemplation or processing or integration. So sometimes messages come from the universe just to tell you to slow down. You know, and that's a funny one for me because I know people say that to me all the time, but I've come to the conclusion recently that some of us are just as we choose to live a big life, we choose to grow at a big rate too. So I know for me, I've, I've said this before, I, I had always had this thought that I didn't have to be here. I didn't have to come this time around. But I know me, and I know my soul, I would always come back. If there is anything I could do to make the world a better place, just by simply being who I am. And I think that, you know, we just did a retreat. And the retreat really shifted me in a way that it gave me more concrete evidence to show myself what my purpose is and where I need to go from here. So it's

10:22 It's awesome how we have these, we'll say events or these things happen. And it gets to show you more of who you are. But just think about if we, if we didn't have the courage to plan that retreat, if we didn't have the courage to create that space for people, if we didn't have the courage to even like the risk of spending the money, because I remember when we were booking the venue, the venue was perfect in every way. I would say the only thing that wasn't perfect was the price. We're like, we're like, how can we do this? Can we actually make this work? And we took a risk because at the time we booked it, we didn't have anybody signed up or anything. So we took the risk and it was a really good investment, not just, not just like financial, whatever, it wasn't really that it was more us personally seeing what we created, seeing it come to life. And then it comes to life.

11:20 And then you can see, well, you and I both, we can see our place. We can see what we're meant to do. We can see it reflected through other people how important it is what we do. So I can see, I could see you, like all through the retreat, just feeling like, like, you know, when you're in complete alignment with what you came here to do. Yeah, because I wasn't nervous or anything. I was excited. Oh my gosh, my gosh, I was excited. We were so excited that there was two nights that I know you didn't sleep. And there was a full night that I didn't sleep. And we still had enough energy to do everything we had to do. I didn't feel tired, like I didn't feel like, but I think we were just so energized by everyone else's energy as well. And by what was happening, it was like, when Kim and I were first together, like when we first, even, um, I think there was a couple nights, like we had to kind of share a bed when we were friends just because of like sleeping arrangements. There was nowhere else to sleep or something, but every single time we tried to do that, we never slept. And we'd wake up in the morning and look at each other and go, Oh my God, why aren't we sleeping?

12:27 And we'd look amazing. And I'd be like, this is so weird. How can this be? And we'd continue on or we'd stay up like really late at night, which was like uncharacteristic for both of us to stay up that late and not feel tired. And staying up late is not staying up. This was, we were staying up to four and 430, which was mind blowing for me. Cause I have an internal clock that shuts down at 11. I'm like, I need to be sleeping. That is my thing. Like that's not something that happens. Like it doesn't happen anymore. And it, and it stopped pretty quickly, but, but in the beginning it was like, it was, it was very common for Kim and I to just, when we were together to not be able to sleep, but we were fine. And why we just kept saying, we must like fill each other. Like we must give each other energy. And I feel like that's kind of what happened at the retreat, except it was amplified by like, by, you know, eight people, you know, it was like, it was really intense for us to be actually creating and manifesting our path and feeling the energy of it. So, but also to watch each person and like even what we called the house mom, you know, watching her step in and out of this role and watching her take it on and she owned it.

13:48 And then watching our other facilitator, like I seen, I was watching everybody have these big shifts. And what happened? We created a space for people to be real. And we allowed people to, to talk about wherever they were in their life and whatever they needed in the moments, you know, and I sounds too simple really, but, but it really, it really is something that people don't get to do very often. So I would say that we had a calling from the universe to create this retreat and we followed it and it was extremely successful. That doesn't mean that everything you do is going to be successful, but this really felt like we had, we had to hear the call, we had to take a risk. You know, I had, what really pushed this was I had clients asking me to build a retreat. And when I started looking at it, I was like, yeah, I think we're ready.

14:47 I remember you asking me, I was like, hell yeah, let's do this thing. Well, I think that we have been, we've been through a lot and we've been very busy over the years, but we finally got to a place where we have space in our life to create. And so it's taken time, but it was somebody at the retreat said, oh man, you're killing this. And I said, yeah, I hope so because I've been thinking about it for five years. And I kept saying, I feel like this is a coming out party for me, for us. But it was because everything we've done up until this time has propelled us forward into that moment where we could do that. And the way we did it. And I, listen, I know the topic today is about avoiding, you know, are we avoiding messages? But this, this is what it was.

15:33 This is something we wanted. And the beauty of it was that one of our, some of our listeners were the ones that initiated this. And I said to Laura, I said, you know, I don't know, I can't tell you how strongly I feel about this. I know it's going to be good. And I, I said, I can feel that we're going to have to keep increasing how many retreats we do because we're going to have consistency. We're going to have women that want to come every year and give themselves the gift of the power that it is to be women together in one building. And that's it. I just feel like this is, it's a start of something beautiful. But at the same time, what would have happened if we didn't listen to the call? Right. So the call was, you know, the message came from the universe through many, many avenues, but it didn't actually push us over the edge until clients were coming to us saying, will you do this?

16:28 Right. So then we, we go, okay, well, can we, and we started looking at it. We're like, okay, I think we can, like, how do we do this? And honestly, this, this is the way my mind works. Things roll around in there for a long time before and bounce and they bounce around until they, you know, bounce out. And so this was something that I had thought about for a long time because we have worked at many wellness retreats and we thought, well, this was good, but I didn't really like that. Or let's tweak this. I've always thought about what I would do. And when Kim said she wanted kind of a smaller retreat that we could really connect with people intimate. Yeah, we wanted like less people, we wanted a smaller building and all those things we want everybody in one building. At first I was like, I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I did find a place found one place in the area we wanted. So it worked out really well, but when, when these things come, so you can get messages anyway, you can get, you can get a thought that just pops into your head. And then you go, oh, okay, like that, that's there. You can get messages from other people. You can see signs all around you.

17:43 You can have the universe talking to you through, through angel numbers. You can see animal messengers. The universe or your spirit guides will also use your friends. And so you might have in a short amount of time, you might have three people tell you the same thing. And then you go, wait a second, none of those three people even talk or three clients that need to talk about the same thing. Right. Well, for us, we tend to bring people to us that are in that kind of same energy. So I've noticed this too, that all of a sudden, a bunch of clients will be talking about the same thing or have the same problem. And then I'll go, wow, maybe this is something I get a look at, you know. So for me, I would say there's some, there's some downsides when you don't listen.

18:34 And I remember, I'm sure this has come up on the podcast before, but it fits so well with this today that when I was teaching, I was having a really hard time from the beginning, like it wasn't like there was anything easy about it. It was really, really hard. So I graduated from university and I had, I was pregnant when I graduated. So I had my first child and I gave myself six months and then I started to sub. So I started to supply teach or substitute teach. And that was hard. Like, you know, anybody, you know, any substitute teacher has a hard time. That's then you think, Oh, that's normal, you know, because it's supposed to be hard. But I was really feeling at the time I was having a spiritual awakening. So at night, not only was my baby sometimes waking up, but I was being woke up by spirit. I was getting all these weird messages. I didn't understand them. I was seeing faces in my third eye and hearing my name being called. And it was a really confusing time.

19:39 So I'm trying to bring myself back to earth to teach in the daytime. And it was really hard. And then I got a job and there was a lot of challenges within that, within that term position. And then the school didn't, they didn't have funding to hire me back the next year. So I started subbing again. And then I was, I got a job at a different school. And that school again, was really hard. It was like an inner city school. There had been shootings, there had been fights, there had been vandalism, theft, like anything you can think of that could happen basically happened. And I somehow fell in love with that school. I don't know how it happened. But I was like, I love these people, I love these students, want to stay here, applied for the job for the next year, got the job two weeks into the job, they told me they were cutting my position. I'm like, okay. So when that happens and you already have a contract, they, the, the school board or the center for education has to find you a job, right? So they put me in a position at another school that a teacher had been in and she got ejected as well. So she got ejected from the job she thought she had. And I

20:58 Was put in the job. So nobody liked me. Even the teachers, even the principal, it was really crazy, like felt like nobody wanted me there. So I had to teach there for a semester. And then the same thing happened second semester, they moved me to another school yet again, and bumped another teacher who thought she had a job out of her job and put me in her job. So again, same, same thing all year long, just complete rejection. Kids don't like me. Teachers don't like me. Parents don't like me because I'm new and that happens. So I'm thinking, I'm not meant to do this. The universe does not want me in these jobs. But the thing, the gold ticket for a teacher is that permanent contract. And I knew that if I went to job fair, which I was ready, I had, I had enough seniority. If I got to job fair, I could get that permanent contract. So I was like waiting, right? So in between all these things start happening. So between like just like regular things, like kids being sick and, you know, my husband at the time was away all the time. I was dealing with stuff by myself, basement flooded, you know, insurance company, and they're trying to clean up the basement flood, car broke down,

22:16 La, la, la, all these things. Then my intuitive friend says to me, I think you're missing something. I don't think you're supposed to be teaching. And I'm like, but what am I supposed to do then? I have kids, like I have to work and make money, like blah, blah, blah. So there was a message from her. Then a friend who was a shaman actually contacted me and he said, I've been told I need to do a treatment on you. And I was like, okay, like you don't say no. Do you say no to the shaman and say, I don't know, I don't want it. So I said, okay. So he comes to do the treatment on me. And he says, I'm really concerned about you. He said, the universe keeps showing me you, it's just a, it's just an image. You're not actually going to do it. But he said, you're in a car and you're driving off a cliff. And he said, you're driving full speed, like you're not going to stop. And he said, I'm really concerned you, you are avoiding something. And I said, yeah, I think, I think it's teaching, but I don't know what to do because I'm trying to be responsible. I'm trying to get that permanent contract. So I go to job fair and I'm sitting at job fair and get the contract in front of me. It's not the job I wanted.

23:27 I'm not happy about it. It's far away from my house. I don't know how I'm going to get my kids to daycare. There's a whole bunch of stuff. Contracts in front of me, principals sitting on one side, vice principal on the other. And do you think I could make myself sign that contract? I was having the hardest time just moving my hand. I sat there so long that the principal said, do you even want this job? And it kind of woke me up a bit. And I went, oh yeah. And I signed it really quick and gave it to her. The job was pretty terrible. I can't say there was much good about it. It was far away. It was, the kids were awful to me because again, I'm replacing a much loved teacher. And the situation was really messed up. It felt again, like nobody wanted me there.

24:15 And I had quite a workload because I not only had my job, but I had to run the breakfast program and there was a lot to that. And it just wasn't, it wasn't good. So I was there for two weeks before the principal approached me and said, do you want to transfer? And I was confused. I was like, I don't even know. I didn't even, I just started to think about it going, I don't know, transfer, like, because there was the teacher they loved was at my old school. So I don't know how that happened, but that's what happened. So I'm thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, I guess I could transfer that would be better. I'd be in my community again, you know, whatever. And then I didn't even have time to act on it. I was driving home from school one day. I left work and I was a little stressed because I was, it was just the first few weeks of school and I had a lot to do and I stayed at school late photocopying things and getting things ready. And anyway, I left and I was in the car and rush hour traffic and I stopped behind a big line of traffic, but I was the last car and somebody came along and he didn't even hit his brakes. He hit me like from behind. He hit me so hard.

25:26 My car went up underneath the van in front of me and he went underneath my car. Well, of course, I was injured. I had multiple injuries. I had a head injury, da, da, da. So the long and the short of it is that I had messages from the universe and I didn't listen because I didn't know how I couldn't conceptualize how this big event, how I was going to leave teaching. Well, most people would have that reaction. Right. And like, I didn't, I couldn't like make sense of these messages. I was like, why would I leave teaching? But see, I couldn't do it on my own. So the universe made up, made that decision for me. And I'm not saying that that's how it happens for everyone, but for most people when they don't listen to the universe, it happens over time. Like, you either get sick or there's some seven or eight of this and you can't do the work you've been doing for almost 20 years. Well, for you, yeah, like you were doing all this like physical contracting work. And so you got pushed out, you know, for a physical reason.

26:30 And I, I, what happened with this, because I'm so stubborn, I'm the person that if I was teaching, I would have stubbornly kept teaching, but it wasn't my path and it wasn't my calling. And so basically at the end of this, what happened is I don't have the, my sensory system is so sensitive and I'm so sensitive to stress that I don't have the ability to be in the classroom anymore. So, because the universe knows, like, I would have went back, I wouldn't have went back, I wouldn't have been right back there. I'm like, safety, security, pension, you know, healthcare plan, all the things that you don't have when you own your own business. So, you know, I would have been like running through the door. So the universe made it so I couldn't, and that's the thing that I think we don't, we don't actually understand that these things are there for us because now the life that I've built is so much better for me. And I remember when I first met you and we were just friends, I remember you telling me you were in a lawsuit for your accident and how everything was going. And I just looked at you and said, well, you weren't supposed to be teaching.

27:41 Right. So we don't see these things in the moment. It's no different than, you know, when I found out from a neurologist that, you know, and literally the words they use were life as you know it is over. Like, wow. And I've heard so many stories over the years and the way we're told these stories, you know, is devastating. Even when you're being tested for an illness and then, you know, you've got it until you don't. It's not like you don't have it. It's like you're being treated like you do. And I wish that would change. I really do because I'm the type of person that I'm strong enough. And I'm strong because I've been through a lot. I've been tested a lot. So I have this, for me, I have a lot of faith. I really do trust my life. That doesn't mean I don't struggle because I've struggled with many things, you know. But the great thing is, is that through struggling comes this new awareness that it fills you in a way that you can't, you can't deny what just happened. So for me, it was, I needed to get out of that work. That wasn't the work I was meant to do.

28:50 Even though I can say that I have never left any place I've ever worked, any place I've ever lived, anything I've ever done, I've always left it better than I, then it was when you came when I came. So I know that and it's because the truth about me is that I know I can't stay in a marriage that doesn't keep growing and shifting because I know that's why my old, my last marriage didn't work. There was, there was legit problems. There was really big issues. But there was also this, there was this knowing that I knew that I couldn't expand and grow if I stayed where I was, and I could choose to take the dysfunction. And, you know, and, but I'm the type of person, I have to have to have to deal with my shit. That's the kind of person I am. I've always been that person. We almost named the podcast deal with your shit. Because we all have it.

29:51 I used to do talks like years ago where I'd go into blue collar companies and do a speaking event for 125 people or whatever 60, you know, different numbers, different places. And I used to, I had no problem standing in front of people saying, we all have shit, different pile, different fragrance, but you don't shit in the toilet and leave it there and just keep walking by the room going, Oh my God, it's getting worse. You know, go flush the toilet. And I, that's exactly what I would say to people and metaphor for like dealing with things. Like you've really, people really don't know how to deal with problems and what we're not taught to either. We're not given the space to say, Hey, this is how I'm feeling. Yeah. You know, and I don't have a box to put this in. And maybe the people you've talked to up until that point didn't have a box either. But the thing about Laura and I and the work we do is that we're constantly working with clients that are stuck somewhere. And we know what it's like to be stuck because we've been stuck multiple times. The difference is it's just like feeling emotions. Like I say, you know, if I'm mad, I'm going to let myself be mad. If I'm sad, if I'm happy, if I'm emotional, I will let myself but I don't live there. I'd, you know, I know that this is something

31:06 That's going to pass. I know it's a message or it's just a moment. Well, and I think with you too, is you will actually leave space for the universe to speak to you. And that's so important when you are struggling with something, you got to leave the blank space, don't fill up your life your day with tons of stuff. If you're struggling, take time to be with yourself, deal with your emotions, let yourself feel it. People are scared to feel stuff. They're scared to know things. Like, like if they, when people I know this, and you probably know this, when people book with us, it's like they've, they're, it's their last resort sometimes. It's like they've done everything else. So I don't know, I'll talk to a psychic, I guess, you know, I'll talk to the crazy witch over there. Yeah, you know, the lady that does energy work, woo, you know, but that happens, people get to that place where they go, Oh my gosh, like, I don't know what else to do. But then what happens, there is still some people that will, there's some people that book a session first, like they have a problem, they talk to the psychic, that's that there were their trusted psychic, I should say.

32:13 But sometimes when you're their last resort, they still don't want to listen. And why is that? Because they don't, they know it's going to bring about great change. And I've had clients where I couldn't see something for them. I, I don't, I don't, I really work hard to not scare people or not make people feel bad. But sometimes you see something that's so glaringly, like obvious, that if they don't do it, they're gonna, it's going to be worse for them. And sometimes I see people actually physically down the road getting ill if they don't deal with this problem. And you might, you might even notice yourself, if you've been putting something off, you're not dealing with something, you get like pain in your knees or your hips or something because that's about movement, motion going forward, flexibility, control, it's about all those things. So if you aren't willing to relinquish the control and actually have some flexibility and maybe talk to that person that you've been holding the grudge against or set that boundary with that person, then you're going to notice that you're pretty achy because your body actually holding the energy is holding the energy and you're not moving forward.

33:20 You know, at the retreat, one of the things that happened that was just mind blowing to me is that myself and two other girls were in the water for the second time. And I had just had this big wave right at the moment I said something really like important and big about myself. And this big wave just kind of high fived me and smack me in the head. And one of my girlfriends, she literally like threw her hand up as if to say, Oh my God, you just got high fived from the universe, right? But when she did it, her ring came off. And this was a ring that, you know, was very important to her. Her father gave it to her before he died. And but the thing was, right before that incident, we were warm. We were, we were floating in the water like little kids. And we were just not a care in the world, not a care in the world, honoring the moments just being. And then the minute it turned to something that we were upset about. And you know, we're all looking for the ring. And the truth is, to me, it was like this thing that happened that was meant to because I seen the glare of light. And I thought the water, the ocean floor wasn't moving, it was scalloped. And it was very still, it was very still. And I seen that light.

34:41 But I did not see a ring hit the water. It was like it was gone in air. So for me, I knew right away, and I knew her father in spirit. And I felt something, but that was my feeling. That's how I read the energy, right? I felt like he was like, Hey, it's okay, it's time to let go. Yeah. You know, but the thing is, is that right after that happened, we were freezing, we were freezing cold, shaking good, good, good, good. And I noticed that after and I thought, wow, if we don't realize how important energy is, like, so here's the thing. As soon as you get a negative, like this thing is lost, right? Oh no, oh no, poor Chrissy, we got to find it. You know, we're being drained, our energy is being drained instead of being lifted up and, and filled, right? So this is the reason why I'm saying this is so many times in life, we get these messages, but we just overreact right away. Why is the universe doing this to us?

35:33 Why me? How come? And all these things. Why not you? I've always thought that when I was a kid. I've always, when I got pregnant, before I got pregnant, I was told I might never have kids because I had endometriosis. And I was told by three specialists that I had a one in a million chance to have kids. But in my mind, I did not let that like create any energy in me that thought I wouldn't. I just thought if I was meant to, I would period. There was no, there was no fear in me in that way. And what happened? I was married at 19 and pregnant at 20. And I can tell you now, looking back that, you know, I had, I had been sick as a dog. I mean, I was so sick, people were following me into the bathroom to see if I was really being sick.

36:22 I stopped almost at the same places every day when my ex was driving me to work. Oh my God. And his driveway at work, I think I threw up every single day for six and a half months, like dear God, right? But I never questioned the fact that I was meant to be pregnant. I wouldn't complain because back then I still had that old school thinking that if you complained, it could be taken from you. And I never wanted that to happen. You know, so we have all these thoughts and feelings and, and but I just knew that I was so grateful that I would do whatever needed to be done. And the truth is, I didn't know I would love being a mom as much as I did. And none of the stuff I had to go through meant anything to me. I was just like, if this is what needs to happen, I'm okay. But it was funny towards the end of my pregnancy.

37:11 The doctor said I was just huge with my son. And my doctor said, Oh, we think you're going to go two weeks early. Well, I didn't go two weeks early. I went two weeks and then three more weeks. I was three weeks overdue. And everything when I went to be induced, they had to induce me, my blood pressure was 169 over 116. That's stroke zone, right? I had to have a nurse with me 24 seven. But now I know that all of that energy was built up because I was scared to death to bring a child into the world the way I seen it from my childhood. And I know that after, you know, and my plan set up broke all into pieces and oh my gosh.

37:58 And you think I could have complained and complained about everything, but I didn't because I was just so grateful to have a healthy child with 10 fingers and 10 toes. And I, you know, I was going to love the shit right out of them, right? And then it took six years to conceive my daughter. And again, the same energy. I was scared to death to bring a woman into the world where women were not respected in my world. Yeah. So these things that happened to us, they are absolutely energy. They're energy that's brought in and, and there's messages that come between with them as well. But if we're not in a place of understanding them, we can really suffer until we don't. We can make ourselves suffer. And that's the thing like you might not notice. Like I think when, when you're, when you're on a spiritual path, sometimes things can be amplified and you can have these really intense experiences. But I think in a general way, when we know something, we know something deep inside of us, but we don't want to know it. Right.

38:57 A lot of things can happen to you. Like you can be prone to more colds and flus. You can wake up and just feel dizzy. Like you can't quite keep yourself like together. You could be fatigued, low energy, depressed. Like when you know you need to make a big change in your life and you're avoiding it, it can really affect your physical self. Oh, and you know, your mental self as well, because you're avoiding something, you're not dealing with it. And the body knows the body does keep score. And the body knows what is going on inside of you. Well, it's funny because when I, when I first left my marriage, I lost 30 pounds without trying. It just, weight was just falling off and I felt free in a way I never did before. Then I, I'm with you and we're, you know, it was really rough in the beginning. And then I got in the car accident a year after we were together. Well, what happened with the car accident, I gained 40 pounds, right? So lost 30 gained 40. And I gained it, I think because of the protection.

40:06 I was scared. How am I going to work? Now, I've been in an accident. How am I going to pay for my house? How am I going to go back and forth? How am I going to see my partner? You know, so the fear that's put into us creates this energy and it blocks, you know, so that happened for a while until I got out of my own way. And I think those kinds of things happen to you and I multiple, multiple times. Well, that that's interesting that you mentioned weight because weight is sometimes about weighting, right? You know, so if you're waiting for something to resolve, you're waiting for somebody to shift, maybe, maybe you're in a relationship and you're waiting for your partner to shift into the right way, like into the way that you would like them to be, or, you know, into a healthier place for them, and you're waiting, waiting, waiting for this to happen, you can actually gain weight because you're in a state of waiting.

40:59 And so we, we know this and we've, we've experienced it in different ways. And I know, like, when you're really close to people and you love them so much, you just want to see them happy. You want to see them in the best place possible. And you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about where they are. You can't help them any more than you already are, you know, all those things, it can cause you to hold on to that weight of what they're going through. So, so many things, right? I think the idea too is when you don't listen to the universe, you can also prolong a bad experience. Like you could be guilty, guilty. You could be in a bad experience, like you could be having a difficult experience and have messages from the universe knowing what you have to do, but knowing also that you maybe don't want to, maybe you, the change is too much. Sometimes it's a hard thing to do. Sometimes it's hard to do. It changes everything in your whole life. Right. But if you don't listen, you can expand an experience that wasn't really meant to be expanded. Like if we, if we could learn to deal with things and move, move through things a little bit faster, knowing it's going to be like ripping off a band-aid, but the universe is offering us the

42:17 Opportunity sometimes, the opportunity for growth and it looks like crap. You know, it's like, why do I want to do that? That looks like crap to me, but you don't realize that once you do go through it that you're in a place, a better place for yourself. Like it's in your highest good to do that thing. Well, and sometimes the message is come, but the reality of what the message entails is not, it doesn't come till after the lessons been learned. Yeah. It's like, it's like, I'm here today and I'm thinking I need to give people permission like to leave that job, you know, that you hate or leave the town you hate or, you know, if you need to change or leave a relationship, like do it. Like you have permission from the universe to do what's best for you. Well, and I look at this year has been incredible growth year for me, because I've let go of a lot, a lot, a lot of things.

43:08 And I really have been put in a place where I've seen myself almost like the higher self watching observing the human self. And the thing I know is that I'm a very capable person. And I've learned that I really love being a woman. More than I ever thought I did, more than I ever thought I could. I love being a mom. I love being a nanny. I love, I love the life that we've created for ourselves. And I want to help other people fall in love with their life. And, and I think when we can teach people to observe the message, give yourself time to like feel what it's about or what it means, you know, I've been an entrepreneur all my life, other than four years. And I can tell you that I, I know I have humanisms like there's human moments where I'll have fear of not being able to make enough or do enough or be enough, you know, those things all seep in and out. But the truth is, I've always been, I've always what's the word like I've always been successful at everything I put my mind to. But sometimes the things we, we need to look at are things that are more, they're more individual,

44:27 They're more in internal about us, like something that like for me, building this house, building a home was very important for me. But then to let it go and say, Hey, I'm done. Now it's time for me. I almost had to look at myself as my next project. And it's funny that I would look at it that way. But if you look at me, you're always joking and saying Kim always needs a project. Well, I'm a very creative person, and I can do many, many things. And I would be bored out of my mind if I just sat around yesterday is perfect example. I did my sauna. I we went for a walk. I did my whole processing, you know, meditation stuff. I read a book. I didn't read the whole book, but I read a lot of it. And you made muscle sticks. I made muscle sticks. I made supper.

45:15 I made dinner. I, you know, I did a whole bunch of things. I labeled a bunch of products. But nothing I drove my brother to the airport. Yeah. So, but the thing is, is that I, I did all that stuff without any stress. It was very easy because I've come to a place where I am in full awareness that I am a very capable, very industrious woman. And I can do many, many things. And I have the gift of doing them well and doing them without a lot of resistance. I just am. Yeah, I'm just being. So for me, I'm starting to honor another part of myself. And that's that older, you know, I'm almost 59. And it's a beautiful place to be, where you're knocking on 60s door and you just, you know, that you're just really content being.

46:08 Well, and you, yeah, but you got there by listening. Yes, but I listened to spirit first. But that's what I'm saying. You got there by listening and trusting those messages and taking time to actually ask, like ask spirit, okay, what's my next step? Or what am I doing wrong? Or what can I do better? And I don't think that people give the, we'll say the universal consciousness enough space to work in their lives. And I'll give you a quick example. So I told the whole story about teaching, but what I didn't say was that years before that accident, like I'm talking years, like, like, you know, probably five or six years, I had a reading. I didn't think anything of this reading. I didn't book the reading because I was in crisis. I just booked a reading just curious. The psychic told me that I was going to be remarried and told me that I need to own my own business, that my energy was somebody that could not work for other people that I should have my own business because I would have my own freedom, my own control and that this life for me was about freedom. And that's why my current marriage wasn't going to work. And at the time I got to tell you, I was completely invested in

47:27 My marriage. I was completely invested in my kids and my career. And I had only been working as a teacher for maybe a year when I had this reading. So a year or two. So I didn't believe her. I was like hell no, this is whatever she don't know what she's talking about. Well, I think if somebody would have told us we'd be doing what we are together with a woman too. I don't know, but that's pretty shocking. Well, she had told me that I would have been like, whoa, this lady cray cray. But I just, I listened to her and I remember thinking like, what is she talking about? She doesn't know what she's talking about. This makes no sense. And the other thing she told me was she said I was very psychic, but I was blocking. She said my third eye was only half open and I didn't and I wouldn't open it. She said, you're not, you're so stubborn, you're not going to open that third eye until you're ready. And so okay, because I'm going to tell you I think her name was, I'm trying to remember her name. She lived on the west coast of Canada.

48:31 And I think her name was Aria or air era. I can't remember anyway. So crazy, right? Because I was just moving into a period of I was just going, okay, like I should I do readings? Like I'm really intuitive. I don't know what to do. Like, okay. And then I was doing a few readings when I talked to her, but oh my God, like I look back on that now and I go, I wish I could contact that lady and tell her she was absolutely right about everything she told me. And I just thought she was crazy. Well, that's how lots of people feel about us. I'm sure people feel about me all the time. I actually hear back from people, usually like a few years down the road. Or sometimes I hear back from them within six months and they go, I did not believe you at the time. I didn't get what you were saying. And then it all happened. So this is a thing.

49:19 I mean, you know, psychics, we have to get really thick skin because we have to get used to telling people things. And in the moment they're going, no, no, no. And then they call you back later and they go, Oh, you were right. So yeah, but this is the thing we can get messages over and over and over again. We are humans. We have thick heads. We are stubborn. The spirit, our spirit guides and the spirit world knows this. They know the human condition. So they will continue to be patient, to be understanding, to continue to try to get through to you to prevent, you know, we'll say disaster because sometimes you can end up in a place where everything falls apart and you have to rebuild. And I feel like that's what happened with us. We had to rebuild our lives completely every step of the way, from housing to financials, to relationships, to jobs, to businesses, even our families. We had to rebuild everything.

50:18 And so now I always look at this as my second life. Me too. Yeah, because it really is. This is the life that I built. This is the life that I wanted and chose. And we get to choose every day because I think all these things, they build us for success. We are built for success. And I think if we can just trust what we chose, then we could also choose that we are strong enough to get through it, you know, and that's one thing about when I was younger. I never thought why me. I'm sure in moments of humanisms, I would think in a moment, but when I had a moment to think about it, you know, I used to think lots of people have it worse than me and lots of people have it better than me. And there's, there's nothing I'm doing right or wrong that I would be on either side of that. And I think we're on both sides of that. And it's freedom now when we can, we're expressing ourselves, everything that we are in this world. And it's, it's huge freedom for me now when people in my life maybe don't respond to it or whatever. I just go, Oh, well, it's not for them.

51:24 It's, it's not, I am reaching the people that need to hear what I'm saying. Well, and how many people are in the world? And this is, you know, this is the thing where some people, I think, I think eight billion. Yeah, something like that's a pretty good number. Yeah, I like that number. But I think the thing is, is I've always known there's lots of work out there. And I've always known that as long as I was open and in awareness that there would always be enough, you know, and now I'm moving into a place where, you know, I, I've been in Nova Scotia for seven years and I have been hired on myself multiple times over it. But I can tell you today that I love it here. And, and it's mostly because I love the ocean. And there is some beautiful ocean beaches here. Well, and you built a beautiful home and yeah, and it's all that. Oh, and it's just a beautiful place. But I now want a place in New Brunswick as well, because all of my family is there. And I don't think how can like, I don't think we can't do it. I think we absolutely can and will do it.

52:32 It's just about the proper time. Yep. And I think we, you know, we know enough to know that the universe has a plan. Right. And we're co-creating with the universe and the people in our lives all the time. So things don't line up until they're supposed to. And this is the thing that I need to tell you today. Yes, we can avoid messages from the universe. Yes, there can be side effects from doing that. Like a woodpecker peck in your house. Right. Like, like you can have a lot of annoyances come into your life because you're not following the path you're supposed to follow. That can happen. But things that are meant for you, if you are looking for them, if you are waiting for them, if you are open to them, you will never miss the things that are meant for you. Right. You can't. And you, if you are a person you're trying and you're trying to listen and you're trying to trust, the universe knows this.

53:27 And you cannot mess it up. The universe mistake, the word mistake is not in the universe's vocabulary. There are no mistakes. No. And so the thing that you need to remember is that even if you've gotten messages about something, there's understanding for the human condition from the spirit world. There is patience to a point, I'll say, but there is patience. And you can literally not mess this life up. If you are a person that is working to, you know, try to be in the highest good for yourself and for other people, and you're continuously committed to the path of growth and learning as a soul, you can't mess this up. It's when people have ill intent and they are avoiding, they're ignoring, they don't want to process.

54:19 They're not doing the things they know they need to do. That's when you have problems. Well, and we see it all the time in our families and friends and clients and listeners, you know, we see it all over the place where when people don't take accountability for their behavior and they just act like they didn't do anything wrong. Well, not only are they hurting themselves, but they're pulling a whole bunch of people around them into that same energy. And then nobody can change it because you're the person holding that, that thing like with a death grip, saying, I'm right and you're all wrong. But what? I just feel like this is like where us humans are still like little kids in a world because I just feel like, why won't you just do the thing, you know, you need to do, do the thing you need to do.

55:06 And don't prolong that terrible experience for yourself and for other people. Just rip the band-aid off, do the thing you need to do, deal with it. Even testing the universe yourself, like there's lots of times I've been in spaces where I'm like, okay, universe, you know, I, I have no clue what this one's about, but I'm going to let you lead the way and just take all of that conditioned thinking away and just try to clear your mind and let yourself feel your way through because you know, one thing about me is I obviously I have very strong boundaries now because they are to protect me and to protect whoever is on the other side of it, right? But the thing is, is that I know that if somebody wronged me and it was 10 years down the road and I hadn't talked to them for 10 years, if they came into my awareness, even in energy or physically and were like, look, I'm really sorry that happened. I wasn't in a good place. I didn't see what, what was in front of me. I would so easily forgive. That doesn't mean you're coming over to my house for Sunday suppers, but I would forgive and have no issue with you anytime I seen you because I really don't, I'm not somebody my first, I really do wake up happy. And I really do love first

56:27 Until somebody gives me a reason not to. And it doesn't mean that I don't love them anymore. But I go, you know what, it's easier to love you from afar, or it's easier to just leave this energy here and not mix myself up in it because it's there's no control that I have over it. But that to me, that's a signal and a sign of spiritual enlightenment when you can allow other people to move on their own path. And yes, as humans, we're going to stumble and trip and fall, but we actually can't and should not save people from these things. You can't anyway, people don't have an awareness until they're ready to have it. So that is spiritual enlightenment is allowing everyone else to move on their own path, even though it might be frustrating for you. It might be frustrating for you to watch somebody struggle or be challenged when you can see the answer for them. But the enlightenment comes when you realize that each one of us has our own learning, our own spiritual path, and we can't interfere, can't interfere with other people's, you know, blessing with their, their honoring their own sacred path and their own soul challenge that they've built into this life. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't help people. I'm saying that we

57:44 Need to respect that other people come to their own spiritual awareness in their own time. Mm hmm. And you and I've been in positions where we've had to really have some really big hits to the head or hits to the ego or whatever you want to call it. I mean, I can remember the exact moment I knew I was going to leave my husband, you know, we were away in Calgary and something happened. And I not only did I look at the situation like it was it was hurtful and all those things. But I looked at him in a different way where I thought it isn't fair to him either to stay in a relationship that he needed to move and grow in if he didn't want to. Right. So sometimes we look at these things. And, and you know, I love that I've evolved from all the things that have happened to me in my life. And I have no like hard feelings or no, you know that you're you're well when you can do that because, you know, I wish him all the best in life. You know, I hope his life is good. But I knew in the moment that it hit me really like differently. And it didn't hit me then it hit me later. I didn't realize it until later. And I was like, Wow, I didn't realize that not only was I leaving for me and my growth, I was also

59:00 Leaving because he needed to be with somebody more like himself. Right. So then you know, you know that your choices, how they ripple out and they affect other people are important too, because all our paths are intertwined. So you knowing that that was something that you had to do, also seeing how that that effect is going to ripple outward because he needed the growth as well. His soul needed it. In the human self, we say, Oh, I was wronged. And that person did this to me. But in the soul, the soul knows that this is something that had to happen. And so it's, you know, I've said this to people and they kind of make a face, but it is a blessing. It's a blessing when you do what's right for you, regardless of how the other person or other people take it, the blessing continues outward. If you do what's best for you, it is best for everyone else. It absolutely is. It just May not look that way from a human perception.

1:00:04 Yeah. So I think summing it up today, how do we sum that up? Right? I know. But and it's a topic that we could talk about for a lot longer. And we both had multiple, multiple, let's just say, let's just say we're ending this channeled message today, because I feel like this entire podcast was channeled. But your life is, you know, I was gonna, that's so funny. Your light is your, your, your life is your light. And you really have to take care of it. And these messages sometimes, you know, I always said that the spiritual path is not a straight paved road. You know, sometimes you get hit with a branch that damn near takes you out or you damn near drowning a little mud puddle. You know, sometimes there's, there's corners you can't steer, you know, you can't see around, you don't know what's happening around the bend, right? And sometimes I say, give yourself grace, you know, give yourself grace, because sometimes we do get hit hard. Sometimes like you, your accident, you got taken out. And, you know, we can say because I know you and me, we both are very, very, very stubborn people.

1:01:11 But I can also say that I could replace that word with we're very passionate. We have a lot of courage, we have a lot of love for life. And for helping others, like create the life that they want to live, you know, and these messages are just these beautiful little signs that the universe is listening, they are, they're not the person putting that car behind you to hit you. But they're the person saying, Hey, you know, this is a detour. This is a little like stopping place where you can stop and reflect and say, you know, do I really want this? Or was this like all how many of us men and women, you know, we're young and we look at, oh, you know, you look at all the expectations that your environment puts on you, you have to graduate and then maybe it's post-secondary or whatever, and then you get married and you have 2.2 kids and the white picket fence and the dog or cat or whatever. But what if that's not what you want? That's okay. Yeah, what if you're living the life that you think everybody else wants right instead of your own life? And I think to some degree we all are, I think at least in the beginning we are, because we're looking at, you know, you, you go from being a child and living in the environment with your parents to going out into the world with a partner and trying to begin something, but you don't realize you get all that shit hanging off you that came from your childhood from everybody that

1:02:29 Was in your environment that didn't deal with their stuff. If that was the case, and then you take all that into your marriage into your partnership, and then you're trying to bring kids up and then things change because you go, Oh, I really love my family, but I don't want to teach my kids this or I don't want to teach my kids that from that side. And everything changes. Then your kids grow up and you look at, like, you know, years ago, you know, I heard stories, people leaving their partner over something about their kids. And I'm like, but your partners, your partner for life, your kid is going to grow up and leave you and go out, which they should go out into the world. But all these things happen, and they made no sense to me, because I'm like, but wait a minute, you know, but I could understand it as a mom in the beginning saying, Oh yeah, your kids are life, but, but it isn't your partner's your life. And your children are another part of that and extension and then the grandchildren are another extension. So, you know, it's so important to, you know, lift yourself up when you get clobbered. I like what you're saying to about give yourself grace, because I feel like that is what the spirit world does for us. That is what our past our past on loved ones and our guides, they understand the human condition,

1:03:50 They give us grace. And all we can do is try to listen, try to listen to that guidance when we can. Maybe it's not always humanly possible to leave the job, leave the city, leave the relationship, change your life, you know, maybe that's not always possible in the moment when you get the message, but there is understanding for the human life, for the human, you know, challenge. So it is important to give yourself grace. And it is important to know that you are going to struggle, you know, you are going to struggle with things. But when the learning comes, and you have an awareness that it's time to change, it's your job to do it. And for me, I don't know if everybody would feel this way. But for me, when we go through hard things, it makes me appreciate life even more. And I know not everybody would be that way. But for me, I just, you know, recently I look around and I feel rich. I feel rich. I feel very calm. I feel very focused. I, I don't know, I just feel like being is the place I finally committed myself to be. And I'm really loving it here.

1:05:06 Yeah. Well, you've been through, like the entire, you know, cycle of spiritual phases, better be careful, they might start all over again. Well, I am in a nine year, but guess what? I'm creating the next nine year cycle the way I want it to be. You're coming into it a lot wiser and stronger. So yeah. No, I don't think that ever stops. So I'm okay with that. Okay. Good. Spiritual journey never stops. All right. Well, on that note, we'll talk to you next week. We'll be back next week because this never stops. If you're interested in contacting Kim for Soul Awakening Coaching, please contact her at mksoulcoaching.com. If you'd like to check out my website and everything that I do, please go to laurawarrenmedium.com.